Confession

I only use Uni-ball brand pens.

Think about it.

Heroes in a half-shell--Turtle Power!

Kids say (and think) the darndest things. And as a kid, I was definitely no exception to that rule.

I grew up as the BIGGEST Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) fan in the world. I think I have every TMNT action figure ever made (and can still name them all)! I also had the sewer, the Technodrome, the Turtle Blimp, the Turtle Tank, the Turtle Van, and the Rat King’s boat! Needless to say, my favorite animal when I was smaller was the turtle—even the ones that had never been exposed to radioactive ooze and grew to human size and learned karate from their father figure, and overgrown rat named Master Splinter. J

So in the days when my imagination was running wild with the thought of crime-fighting turtles, I saw them everywhere. From a long, straight stick that looked as though it could be a bo staff used by the one and only Donatello to my desire for the TMNT’s favorite food cheese pizza, I was interested in all things “turtles” and adamant in my desire for a world in which humans and turtles could peacefully coexist.

That’s why I was so excited when I discovered that my parents’ car came with an indicator on the dashboard that would let you know when you were approaching a turtle in the road so that you could avoid it! What a great way to save the lives of turtles crossing the road! The icon would light up when approaching a turtle in the road, emitting a red image of what the turtle would look like if not avoided. The image was of a turtle, upside-down on its shell, with a single drop of blood dropping from its tail. The dashboard icon has now become standard on all vehicles in order to further promote the harmony and peaceful coexistence of turtles and humans. You may recognize the icon as the image below.

Trix are for kids

I consider myself somewhat of a breakfast cereal connoisseur. From Grape Nuts and Raisin Bran to Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Puffs—I LOVE THEM ALL!! I estimate that I’ve had cereal and milk for breakfast 90% of the mornings of my life (although they say that 87% of statistics are made up on the spot ;) ). And that’s why I wanted to let you, my faithful blog followers, know of the greatest cereal invention since Krisped Rice. It’s Cinnabon cereal! I bought some for Anna and me the other day, and the very next day I had to make another trip to the grocery store for an emergency Cinnabon cereal run! We have been guilty of not only eating Cinnabon cereal for breakfast, but for lunch and dinner as well! Go buy some Kellogg’s Cinnabon crunchy, cinnamon, multi-grain cereal….you’ll thank me later! (Trust me…I’m ten months away from being a doctorJ)

Top 10 Favorite Youtube Videos: Part II

There’s nothing better than a video that is so funny you nearly pee yourself from laughing. That’s why the Top 5 of my favorite Youtube videos are all of the humor genre. Enjoy.

5. World’s Worst Rap Battle

These two guys are pitted against one another in one of the most epic rap battles of all time. Never before have humans had such an incredible control of rhetoric. Be prepared to hear words sculpted into lyrics capable of bringing tears to thine eyes.

4. Dogs Dream Too

The first time I watched this was with Anna, and I’ve seriously never heard her laugh so hard in my life. It’s funny to imagine what the dog is dreaming about though.

3. “Whistles Go ‘Woo’”

I don’t even know how to set this video up…so simply enjoy. I just hate that “whistle-tips” never made their way to Memphis……………………………….NOT.

2. I Want the Gold

Seriously…if you’ve been around me for any extended period of time, you’ve probably heard me reference this video. I present to you the legendary leprechaun of Mobile, Alabama.

1. Trigon Insurance

Injured Bad

Karate

There aren’t many kids cuter than this one. Honestly, the kid’s so cute, I might go get some Trigon insurance right now……..

Honorable mention

Smashing Gamecube

As a lover of video games myself, I understand the love and affection that goes into these beloved video game systems. So I understand the emotions of the kid in this video. BUT it makes for a fantastic video. WARNING: this video contains occasional foul language.

So that's my Top 10! There's a lot of videos that are fantastic, but just didn't quite make the cut. It was really hard to narrow it down to 10. I do love Youtube videos though, so please post your favorites in a comment below!

Top 10 Favorite Youtube Videos

I love Youtube. I have watched so many videos on Youtube that it would probably embarrass me to know how many hours worth of videos I have viewed. I’m always viewing the up-and-coming potential viral videos, and usually when someone asks, “Hey Nathan have you seen that video of…”, no matter what follows, the answer is usually “Oh, yeah I’ve seen that.” So in honor of my Youtube obsession, I wanted to share with my devoted blog readers my personal Top 10 favorite Youtube videos. (Click the green, underlined text to view each video.)

10. Canon Rock <---Click here for the video!

This guy is a real “Guitar Hero”. He took one of my favorite classical songs, "Canon in D" by Johann Pachelbel, and made it.....awesome-er. I have definitely just sat and listened to this video over and over.

9. Acapella Covers

"Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap

"Carry On My Wayward Son" by Kansas

I love listening to acapella groups on Youtube. One of my favorite groups is called the Achordants, which is an all-male acappella group from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. I couldn’t choose between these two songs, so I decided to keep them both. You’ll thank me later. :)

8. Slow-Mo

There’s nothing cooler than watching things in super slow-motion, whether it’s a water balloon popping, popcorn kernel bursting, or someone blowing a raspberry.

7. Dude Perfect

This guy has recently gotten a lot of attention, and you may have seen some of his shots on GMC commercials. I can’t imagine how many attempts it takes in order to finally make the shot, but the end result is always impressive.

6. Fast Food Folk Song

These guys are one of my favorite subscriptions on Youtube. Self-proclaimed “Internetainers”, Rhett and Link took their musical talents to the drive-thru.

~~Honorable Mention~~

Baby laughing

There are a lot of great baby-laugh videos on Youtube, but I tried to pick the best. I dare you to watch this video without laughing…or at least smiling.

Stay tuned for my Top 5 Favorite Youtube videos, you won't be disappointed. I mean, after all, with a name like Rucker it has to be good!

My Date with the Double Down

I had to have one. The amazing images of a sandwich with so much fried chicken that there's no room for a bun were haunting my every waking thought.

I debated the idea for weeks. But, like those kids locked in the room with the marshmallows, the temptation was too great. My determination and resolve soon gave way, and I allowed myself to become fully submerged in the giant vat of boiling grease that was soon to be my love affair with Colonel Sanders' newest creation: 540 calories, 32 grams of fat, and 1380 mg of sodium of glorious, deep-fried goodness--also known as the KFC Double Down.

The Double Down features two boneless chicken filets, two pieces of bacon, two slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce, with the tagline being, "This product is so meaty, there's no room for a bun." God Bless America!

I felt like I needed to train before my date with the Double Down, but instead decided that an aspirin as heart attack prophylaxis was probably more appropriate.

I also assembled a team to battle the beast alongside me--Brent Crenshaw (a proven veteran who had already slain the Double Down) and Clay Powell (who likes his KFC like he likes his women--hot and greasy).

The day came and the Double Down was all I imagined it would be. When given the option of getting the Double Down combo meal, I indifferently accepted. I mean, seriously, my blood is about to turn into sludge anyway, what are an additional 260 calories and 740 mg of sodium from potato wedges going to hurt?

I successfully downed every morsel of fried-goodness on my plate, and enjoyed every bit of it. I had done it...I had battled the beast known as the Double Down and won; I stared death in the face and lived to blog about it.

Our two year anniversary!

Two years ago today I was blessed to marry the love of my life, my high school sweetheart Anna Katherine Askew. Knowing that I would get to spend the rest of my life with someone as amazing as Anna was the greatest thought I had ever had, but actually living life with Anna for these past two years has been greater than I could ever have imagined. That old, sappy expression you always hear in movies when people say that “He/she makes me a better person” never really made sense to me until I met Anna. She is the warmest, happiest, kindest, most genuine, and most Godly woman that I’ve ever met and challenges me daily through her actions to become a better person…more like her…more like Christ. I love my Annie more with everyday that passes, and she is truly the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

I’m not much of a country music fan, but there’s one song that reminds me so much of how I feel about Anna. It’s called “She’s Everything” by Brad Paisley, and the lyrics are posted below.

“She’s Everything” by Brad Paisley

She's a yellow pair of running shoes

A holey pair of jeans

She looks great in cheap sunglasses

She looks great in anything

She's I want a piece of chocolate

Take me to a movie

She's I can't find a thing to wear

Now and then she's moody

She's a Saturn with a sunroof

With her brown hair a-blowing

She's a soft place to land

And a good feeling knowing

She's a warm conversation

That I wouldn't miss for nothing

She's a fighter when she's mad

And she's a lover when she's loving

And she's everything I ever wanted

And everything I need

I talk about her, I go on and on and on

'Cause she's everything to me

She's a Saturday out on the town

And a church girl on Sunday

She's a cross around her neck

And a cuss word 'cause its Monday

She's a bubble bath and candles

Baby come and kiss me

She's a one glass of wine

And she's feeling kinda tipsy

She's the giver I wish I could be

And the stealer of the covers

She's a picture in my wallet

And my unborn children's mother

She's the hand that I'm holding

When I'm on my knees and praying

She's the answer to my prayer

And she's the song that I'm playing

And she's everything I ever wanted

And everything I need

I talk about her, I go on and on and on

'Cause she's everything to me

She's the voice I love to hear

And someday when I'm ninety

She's that wooden rocking chair

I want rocking right beside me

Everyday that passes

I only love her more

Yeah, she's the one

That I'd lay down my own life for

And she's everything I ever wanted

And everything I need

She's everything to me

Yeah she's everything to me

Free time?? What's that?!

Now that I'm officially finished with the worst school year of my life, I've been thinking of all the things that I am able to do since 14 hours of my day will no longer be required for studying. I compiled a list.

1) Blogs. Blogging definitely took a back seat to school. I have almost a dozen people who use this blog to satisfy almost all of their humor needs, and now, with Conan no longer hosting The Tonight Show, these people need me even more! I will not let you down again faithful subscribers...I apologize for getting my priorities mixed up.

2) Sleep. I averaged 1 or 2 nights a week in which I was actually able to go to bed at the same time as Anna. Schoolwork always carried over until well after Anna’s bedtime of 10:00, and I always found myself returning to my “study cave” after tucking Anna in and kissing her goodnight. I also averaged about 3 hours of sleep a night on the weekends immediately preceding my knowledge and comp exams. Not cool Pharmacy school…I’m definitely looking forward to regular sleep cycles.

3) Video games. Somewhat of a guilty pleasure of mine, I’m really going to utilize the next couple of weeks off from school to get my video game fix. I’m glad that I’ve now got this year of pharmacy school out of the way, so that I have more time for the important things in life…such as protecting the galaxy from genocide by the Reapers in Mass Effect. J

4) Dog tricks. It’s crazy how “crazy” I am about our 1 & ½ year old Schnauzer puppy Bella. One of my favorite things to do is impress company with her tricks. Thus far we have mastered the twist (where she spins around in circles at lightning fast speed), up (where she stands upright on her back feet), sit, lay-down, and rollover. Coming soon are play dead, high-five, and the 4-move checkmate.

5) Leisure reading. Since last August, I haven’t read because I wanted to…I read because I HAD to. Which is why this one may actually take a few weeks for me to start. For the last year, the thought of reading has been synonymous with some sort of Chinese water torture for me. It’s kind of sad that I can only claim to have read two books since August: Pharmacotherapy: A Pathophysiologic Approach by Joseph T. Dipiro, et al (2592 pages) and Applied Therapeutics: The Clinical Use of Drugs by Mary Anne Koda-Kimble, et al (3040 pages). Some pretty dry reading to say the least………….

So that’s my current, short-and-sweet list of my dreams and aspirations over the next couple of weeks. I’m excited to once again have time to blog--looking forward to entertaining you with my thoughts and stories!

PING!

I hate it when bathrooms don't have paper towels! When bathrooms don't have paper towels to wipe your hands on after washing your hands, it usually means two things. 1) Some article of clothing is going to get wet. 2) You're going to have to touch the door handle to exit the bathroom. (This is especially disturbing seeing as the majority of guys that touch that door handle just got done handling their business with no hand washing in between)

So, the other day I used the bathroom before leaving the library at school when, after washing my hands, I realized that there were no paper towels. DANG IT! Now keep in mind this is one of those small bathrooms with a single stall, a urinal, and a sink, with the floor covered in small 2 in. x 2 in. tiles. I was alone, so I decided to "air-dry" my hands by jerking my arms violently about. After a couple of seconds of this I heard a sound that made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I recognized the "PING!" sound as the sound of my wedding ring bouncing off of the tile floor. The few seconds that followed reminded me of those cartoons where someone shoots a gun and the bullet just ricochets off of everything in the room, completely defying the laws of physics. My ring was bouncing off the walls and floor, and I was terrified that it was going to land in the urinal or toilet. Luckily, after what seemed like an eternity, my ring finally came to a stop, and I left the bathroom completely disregarding the germ-coated door handle.

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe

How was I supposed to know they were still hot? They were gray......and ashy.

I had grilled chicken several hours ago, when I decided to go ahead and empty the grill and clean up my mess. I dumped the coals into a paper bag and took the bag to the community apartment dumpster. I had a brief moment where I wondered if I had waited long enough to let the coals cool off, but quickly assured myself that a couple of hours was plenty of time and happily went about my evening.

About 45 minutes later, I hear the faint sound of a fire truck's siren. I, of course, thought nothing of this because our apartment was less than a mile from the Hernando fire department. Seconds later, the siren was loud, but rather than quickly fading away as it normally did when the fire truck zoomed past the apartment, it maintained the same volume, and I daresay was getting louder?? Panic poured over me as I sat there, frozen in fear, next to Anna. I rush to the blinds to see where the fire truck was going, only to see it parked next to the dumpster, which was emitting a beautiful orange-glow that made it easier to see the pillar of smoke rising from it.

"Uh-oh....." I whisper from the window.

"What do you mean 'Uh-oh'? What is it?" asked Anna.

"Umm...there's a fire in the dumpster, and ummm....I think...maybe I started it." I admit, slowly turning to face Anna.

We quickly decided that the best thing for us to do is rid our porch of all evidence. I put the grill in the storage closet, and swept away all evidence of ash from our porch. The firemen put out the smoldering trash within 20 minutes and left the apartments shortly thereafter.

The next day, while working at Fred's Pharmacy in Hernando, a police officer who frequently came into the pharmacy to chat came in, and I decided to ask him about the fire.

"Oh yeah, some idiot put something hot in the dumpster, and it caught fire," the officer said.

"Pfft, yeah....what an idiot! I mean, who would do something that dumb?!"

Kevin McCalister said it best after unintentionally stealing the toothbrush from the convenient store in Home Alone, when he said, "I'm a criminal."

Spelling Bee

I've got many-a pet peeve--people whistling when I whistle, idiots that don't know how to work 4-way stops, etc. One of my biggest pet peeves, however, is misspelling. Probably the one that grates on my nerves the most is when people wrongly substitute "your" for "you're". It drives me nuts! Another really, really annoying one is spelling "definitely" wrong. The most common misspelling is "definately". UGH!! Anyways, Anna and I came across this quiz containing the top 25 misspelled words. We took it together though and made a 17 out of 25. I guess making a 68% doesn't really give me much room to judge :)

Anyways, here's the the quiz. See what "your" made of, and post "you're" scores in the comments :) http://www.businesswriting.com/tests/commonmisspelled.html PS: we didn't answer #'s 26 and 27 because those were the British spellings

Welcome mat or invisibility cloak?

I've always been weird about having packages shipped to my address while living in an apartment. I think that a package just sitting on the doorstep would be too much temptation for any sticky-fingered or even slightly curious neighbor. But I should have known better. FedEx and UPS have been delivering packages for years. They do it every day. They know a lot more about delivering packages than I do, so I should have known that they would have a plan for preventing packages from getting stolen when they have to leave it on the doorstep. I came home to this today:

Sub-scrizzibe!

For those of you who enjoy my blog (and I can't fathom anyone NOT enjoying it :)), there is a way to get an email containing my new blog post each time that I post a new blog! I know; how exciting!! All you have to do is type the email address of your choice in the "Subscribe via email" box to the right of your screen, and each time I write a new blog the message will be delivered to you in your email. No catches and absolutely no strings attached.

BUT WAIT!!! THERE'S MORE!!!! If you subscribe now...............just kidding :)

Faux Pas

As I have progressed further in my pharmacy education, it has been my desire to be more knowledgeable in every aspect of the field of pharmacy. I hate it when I do not know the answer to a drug/medication question, and I aspire to be able to answer patients' questions. (I will really feel like I have arrived at the pinnacle of pharmaceutical knowledge when I can answer a single Corrie Aldinger question ;))

So, while working at Fred's Pharmacy during my PY3 year, an elderly gentleman came up to the counter asking for some OTC help. "I'll handle this one," I thought to myself as I approached the counter.

"Ya got anything for diarrhea?" he asked.

Now let me stop the story right here, and let you know that what came out of my mouth next was something that I wished I could have grabbed out of the air and shoved back into my mouth the second the words left my mouth. Diarrhea is one of those simple cases that we pharmacy students learn how to counsel very early on in our educational careers. However, in what I like to call a "Brain Fart" moment without even thinking, I responded with "To stop it?"...............To STOP IT?!?!? What was I thinking?! No, Nathan, I'm sure this gentleman would like to crank his diarrhea up a couple of notches!!

Needless to say, the pharmacist told the story to anyone with ears to listen, and they all even got me a plaque with the conversation on it so that I may always stay humbled :)

Summer of Trust

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. --Proverbs 3:4-6 (NASB)

Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! --Luke 12: 22-24 (NIV)

I went to these passages again and again over the summer. Anna had been looking for a teaching job in the Jackson area in order to provide for us while I am in school. We went 2 months with ZERO luck in her finding a job, praying fervently. We were moving in less than a week, and yet, strangely, both Anna and I had a complete peace from God. We knew that God's plan is always best, and for whatever reason, He did not want Anna to have a teaching job down here. And then it happened; Tuesday (4 days before the move), Anna received a phone call from a principal at a Jackson Public Middle School with a teaching opportunity for Anna. Anna drove down to Jackson the next day, had an interview, and was given the job! Praise the Lord! Great is His faithfulness! God used this summer to teach us to trust in Him and bring us closer to Him as well as bring us closer together, and it could not be more worth it!

For his merciful kindness is great toward us: and the truth of the Lord endureth forever. Praise ye the Lord. --Psalm 117:2 (KJV)

The world of Pharmacy

There is no lack of humor in the pharmacy, I assure you. I only wish I had been keeping track of all of the funny/strange/annoying things that I have experienced in my 5+ years of retail pharmacy. I'm positive that this list will grow as I continue to pursue my career in pharmacy, but this ought to be a good start :)

1. At least 10 times a day, someone calls in wanting to get a refill on their "white pill" or their "round pill". Do you realize how many pills are white? Or round? Trust me....a ton of them.

2. I was helping an elderly gentleman check out the other day, and he told me that at his old age he "never buys green bananas because he never knows if he'll be around for them to ripen"

3. A woman was waiting with her daughter for her prescription to be filled. The daughter asked if she could get some candy (a discussion that takes place 100 times a day because the candy rack is conveniently located right next to the pharmacy). The mother replied, "No, it's like I always say, 'Be true to your teeth when you're young, or they will be false to you when you're old.'" The kid was like 3.

4. [I didn't actually experience this one, but the pharmacist I work with told me about it.] A customer came in asking if the pharmacist knew where she could find the "Kentucky" jelly. After a couple of minutes of trying to figure out where this jelly might be, she finally realized that the customer was talking about KY jelly.........................

5. I filled a prescription the other day for birth control. It was written by a Dr. Semen. Dead serious.

5a. There's also a dermatologist in Memphis named Dr. Whitehead.

More to come, I'm certain.

Things you can't look cool purchasing...

Making trips to Wal-Mart for a single item is bad enough, but I have found that there are some single items that it is impossible to feel confident or look cool while buying.

Item number 1: toilet paper. Ok, first of all, everyone goes. But it's not necessarily something that is exactly comfortable to bring up in everyday, casual conversation. With that said, being out of T.P., when you've gotta go might be the worst feeling ever. So, when you're speed-walking through Wal-Mart shouldering a 12-pack of jumbo rolls of T.P. (because in these economic times, everyone knows the 12-pack of jumbo rolls holds the most bang for your buck), it's extremely hard to look cool, seeing as everyone knows what those jumbo, double-ply rolls of softness will shortly be used for.

Item number 2: a plunger. This one's still fresh on my memory. There's nothing worse than a stopped-up toilet, regardless of the cause. And there's also nothing more humbling than walking through Wal-Mart with the mighty plunger. There's only one use for a plunger, and you can rest assured that everyone else in the store knows what problem you have.

Item number 3: tampons. It is impossible for a guy to look cool purchasing tampons. There's really no explanation need :)

This list is obviously not exhaustive, so feel free to add your humbling, single-item purchases in a comment.

Intervention

So, I've been trying to think of something that would be worthy of my very first blog, but it seemed as though nothing would ever be good enough. But finally I found it: my wife has a problem. And I could think of no other way to help rid her of this addiction than to "out her" on my first blog. So...here it goes...

Anna is addicted to Diet Coke.

And we're not talking some normal petty addiction. This is the real deal. Several months ago (I don't think she knew I was around), Anna hugged her can of Diet Coke and said, "I haven't had you all day!" I was seriously waiting for Gollum voices and mutterings of "My Precioussssss"! And just today, as we were going to lunch, I asked Anna what she was going to get to drink. She, of course, replied "Diet Coke". I suggested that she pass up her addiction and try water instead. "But Diet Coke is what I look forward to most in a meal! I'd rather get less food and get my Diet Coke! I look more forward to Diet Coke than I do the food!"

I'm just saying...this is pretty serious.