The world of Pharmacy

There is no lack of humor in the pharmacy, I assure you. I only wish I had been keeping track of all of the funny/strange/annoying things that I have experienced in my 5+ years of retail pharmacy. I'm positive that this list will grow as I continue to pursue my career in pharmacy, but this ought to be a good start :)

1. At least 10 times a day, someone calls in wanting to get a refill on their "white pill" or their "round pill". Do you realize how many pills are white? Or round? Trust me....a ton of them.

2. I was helping an elderly gentleman check out the other day, and he told me that at his old age he "never buys green bananas because he never knows if he'll be around for them to ripen"

3. A woman was waiting with her daughter for her prescription to be filled. The daughter asked if she could get some candy (a discussion that takes place 100 times a day because the candy rack is conveniently located right next to the pharmacy). The mother replied, "No, it's like I always say, 'Be true to your teeth when you're young, or they will be false to you when you're old.'" The kid was like 3.

4. [I didn't actually experience this one, but the pharmacist I work with told me about it.] A customer came in asking if the pharmacist knew where she could find the "Kentucky" jelly. After a couple of minutes of trying to figure out where this jelly might be, she finally realized that the customer was talking about KY jelly.........................

5. I filled a prescription the other day for birth control. It was written by a Dr. Semen. Dead serious.

5a. There's also a dermatologist in Memphis named Dr. Whitehead.

More to come, I'm certain.

Things you can't look cool purchasing...

Making trips to Wal-Mart for a single item is bad enough, but I have found that there are some single items that it is impossible to feel confident or look cool while buying.

Item number 1: toilet paper. Ok, first of all, everyone goes. But it's not necessarily something that is exactly comfortable to bring up in everyday, casual conversation. With that said, being out of T.P., when you've gotta go might be the worst feeling ever. So, when you're speed-walking through Wal-Mart shouldering a 12-pack of jumbo rolls of T.P. (because in these economic times, everyone knows the 12-pack of jumbo rolls holds the most bang for your buck), it's extremely hard to look cool, seeing as everyone knows what those jumbo, double-ply rolls of softness will shortly be used for.

Item number 2: a plunger. This one's still fresh on my memory. There's nothing worse than a stopped-up toilet, regardless of the cause. And there's also nothing more humbling than walking through Wal-Mart with the mighty plunger. There's only one use for a plunger, and you can rest assured that everyone else in the store knows what problem you have.

Item number 3: tampons. It is impossible for a guy to look cool purchasing tampons. There's really no explanation need :)

This list is obviously not exhaustive, so feel free to add your humbling, single-item purchases in a comment.

Intervention

So, I've been trying to think of something that would be worthy of my very first blog, but it seemed as though nothing would ever be good enough. But finally I found it: my wife has a problem. And I could think of no other way to help rid her of this addiction than to "out her" on my first blog. So...here it goes...

Anna is addicted to Diet Coke.

And we're not talking some normal petty addiction. This is the real deal. Several months ago (I don't think she knew I was around), Anna hugged her can of Diet Coke and said, "I haven't had you all day!" I was seriously waiting for Gollum voices and mutterings of "My Precioussssss"! And just today, as we were going to lunch, I asked Anna what she was going to get to drink. She, of course, replied "Diet Coke". I suggested that she pass up her addiction and try water instead. "But Diet Coke is what I look forward to most in a meal! I'd rather get less food and get my Diet Coke! I look more forward to Diet Coke than I do the food!"

I'm just saying...this is pretty serious.